In today’s episode, we are joined by Nick Viall. This former Bachelor is sharing the truth about life before & after The Bachelor. We discuss why dating with confidence is so sexy, beauty turn-ons & why men need to prioritize their platonic female friendships. We dive deeper into relationships, sex & why women should send the first DM.
Nick Viall had many appearances on The Bachelor series. He first came onto the scene as a contestant on The Bachelorette, then Bachelor in Paradise & lastly he was The Bachelor. “The Bachelor is an experience you can’t fully appreciate until you’re doing it,” Nick explains. He describes the hardest part of being the bachelor, “It’s just so hard to connect with 30 people. You have to have 30 conversations at least on night 1. With a bunch of people who are nervous and don’t know what to say and are expecting you to kind of talk.” He goes on to give his #1 advice for the next Bachelor, “You can’t take yourself so seriously, nothing really matters.”
Nick explains that he loves winning and competing, but that he is also not afraid to fail. “The times when I did fail, I had parents that challenged me. They weren’t afraid to discipline me and they weren’t afraid to have other parents and coaches discipline me. So when I did fail, I wanted to be successful. I wanted to win so much that I was like, all right, what did I do wrong? What could I do better? And I think that mentality and that, and that space really served me.”
“Dating was weird because if they’ve watched the show they pretend not to, or say they know everything about you.” He also mentions how “growing up in Wisconsin, I was considered decent-looking and got the occasional compliment”, explains Nick. “After the show, you’re the guy from the bachelor and you don’t get checked out anymore.”
Nick is a firm believer in confidence and especially dating with confidence. He also believes that no one needs to wait for the person there interested in to contact them first. “My girlfriend DM’ed me”, he explains. “We wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for her determination. She didn’t ask me what I thought or what I wanted she said what she wanted, I said why it wouldn’t work, so she started immediately dating other men, and then I was like wait … She knew what she wanted and she handled it.” Molly mentions, “you have to come off more confident. Confidence is f*ing sexy.”
“People are so afraid of clarity, it really hurts, but you never want to sit in relationship purgatory”, explains Nick. “If you are having sex with a guy and he can’t commit. Don’t let your women friends convince you he’s afraid. Women need to stop telling their friends he’s afraid … he’s not afraid. He just doesn’t want to.” He goes on to explain, “if you have any type of trauma, and you are afraid, then you shouldn’t be dating. You should be seeing a therapist.”
Nick’s latest business venture is an essential oils company, Natural Habits. His brand focuses on oil blends to create non-invasive healing medicine. “When you get a headache instead of taking Advil you can take essential oils”, he explains. He goes onto explain how dealing with anxiety pushed him to create this company. “I think as an adult my anxiety has gotten worse and overthinking and social media. Also the pressures of what everyone thinks and not being present.”
Listen here for the full episode: