By Claire Byrne “The Heartbreak Coach”
When the pandemic hit, the initial thought most of my single clients had was:
“Now it’s EXTRA impossible to find love.”
I coach from the belief that your thoughts create your results, so I immediately went to work, shifting their minds to focus on how social distancing could actually SERVE their dating lives, versus HURT their dating lives.
The results speak for themselves. I’ve seen more successful love stories unfold for my clients over the last 9 months than I have in the last five years of being a coach.
Here are 4 dating rules that have changed because of COVID 19, and in my opinion, for the better:
Take being direct to the next level.
Before the pandemic, I encouraged my clients to gather important pieces of information about a potential partner. And to do this sooner rather than later, while still keeping things light and organic. For example, if you’re jonesin’ for a baby, figure out by the third date at the latest, whether or not this potential prospect is interested in having kids. Some singles have no problem addressing their deal-breakers right away, while many are afraid of coming off too intense. But now, if you’re looking for love during the time of corona, I say rip the band-aid off and ask what you want to know before. Hopefully, you’re taking social distancing seriously and aren’t meeting a new prospect every night in person. Use your time and judgment wisely for your health, the health of others, while keeping your eye on the prize of committing to solely finding your person. State who you are and what you’re looking for. If he/she is looking for the same thing, meet. If they’re not—don’t. It’s that simple.
Let’s be real—a still shot doesn’t reveal someone’s voice, mannerisms, and a lot of times, what the person actually looks like. Why not get the best sense of your match before making the decision to meet in person? It saves both of you time and if you do get together, you’ll feel a bit more comfortable and familiar, now that you’ve chatted through screens.
Build Trust and Interest Before.
A little awkward to talk about who else you might have kissed over the prior couple of weeks, but NECESSARY! This kind of uncomfortable conversation right off the bat can reveal each other’s willingness to be vulnerable, and whether the person on the receiving end of the question will be sensitive to your concern or not. Also, you’re now forced to get to know each other through CONVERSATION, before jumping each other’s bones with one too many cocktails, and confusing the chemistry for genuine feelings for someone you don’t know well enough yet.
No More Wishy-Washy Behavior.
Pre-Covid, the tendency for many singles was to be in a “we’ll see” state of mind, while multi-tasking several prospects in the hopes that one will pan out. “If I hear from him/her, I’d say yes, but I’m also seeing two other people so we’ll see.” Again, if you’re honoring the dangerous time we’re in, for health reasons alone, you can’t be living in Grayville when it comes to your dating life! You’re either interested in going out again, or you’re not so that you can clear space to connect with the next potential person. The wishy-washy behavior keeps you in the belief that your dating life happens to you. It doesn’t. You are the creator of your reality—including who you date. Making clearer, stronger, intentional decisions will bring you closer to the right one, quicker.
Claire Byrne is a heartbreak/ finding love coach and is the host of her podcast, How to Stop Wanting Him Back. Her course Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better releases this November. **Claire uses the pronoun “him” because of her own experience as a heterosexual woman moving through heartbreak, but this course is for ALL races, genders, religions, and sexual orientations. You can find out more about Claire at www.clairetheheartbreakcoach.com