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Lipstick On The Rim: Getting Hitched in Your Late 30’s: A Love Story Just A Little Bit Later with Molly & Emese


This week Molly and Emese take a stroll down memory lane discussing old dating stories, boyfriends, and how far they would really go to help their BFF. Tune in to find out how Molly got proposed to, and how Emese “locked her sh*t down”… and FAST. They discuss how the expectation to get married in your twenties is unrealistic, the key to thriving in your 40’s & why you should never compromise who you are to be in a relationship. Molly shares her #1 tip on setting boundaries, while Emese shares why communication is key.

[Molly & Emese] On Molly’s Proposal Story

“So the story is that I was waiting very patiently to get engaged. We had been dating for what a year and a half year at this point, I’m like 37 or 38,” explains Molly. “My mother was starting to get a little nervous. I took a trip to Africa with Stuber. I had every day perfectly packed. My nails were perfectly done.” Molly describes how she was waiting very anxiously every single day of the trip for Stuber to propose. “Then we’re going on a safari, and we’re going to Singita and it’s unbelievable. I’m like he’s for sure going to do it. Four days left. Nope.Two days. I come in roses on the bed, roses in the bathroom. Alcohol. It was amazing. Still no proposal.”

Emese chimes in, “the flip side of this is that I was working with Stuber on her gorgeous engagement ring. I knew exactly what was happening, but I was trying to keep her at bay so that it was still a surprise. Stuber was calling me and freaking out. I remember you walking into the trailer and you guys were going to dinner at Nobu and he was on the phone with me and he’s like ‘I’ve got to go but you have to tell her to calm down.'” Molly goes on to say, “the point of the story is that he did not propose in Africa, nor was he ever going to propose an Africa. And I lost my mind. I lost my sh*t. He drove me to the airport, and we didn’t speak for two or three days when I came back. He kept saying, ‘I just want it to be meaningful.’ and I’m like, ‘Africa is meaningful.'”

Emese says, “I will tell you, the romantic side of her husband was planning to include her family, and I was working on her ring. The funniest part of this story is I was working at DVF at the time, and I had these security guards showing up with these different diamonds at the office. I had to fly to LA to return these diamonds so that we could decide which one was going to be the ring. I was so scared of losing one of these because they were worth more than I was. And I flew with them all on my hand because I was so scared that if I dropped the actual bag. So I’m walking around the airport looking like Tom Brady with all the super bowl rings on me. I probably looked like a lunatic or they all looked fake because no one wears that many diamonds on one hand. But I remember meeting with Sharon Beckman in the driveway of a Holiday Inn by LAX to hand off the jewelry so that they could be returned to the jewelers. Anyhow, long story short is that he planned the perfect proposal. He flew Big Momma and Papa Sims. And it was a perfect proposal.”

[Molly & Emese] On Growing Together & Communication

Molly explains, “our advice is that you grow together as much as possible and you and you really try to let each other. Be who you are separately too. I think it will make you better together as a couple.” Emese chimes in that, “I just think that marriage, in particular, is a lot of work and you have to make an effort because with three kids and a job things always going on. It’s really easy to just kind of get into a rut. And I think that communication is so important. Always being open and honest. If something is bothering you if you know you need to work on something as a couple to just be open about it.”

[Molly & Emese] Don’t Compromise Who You Are

Molly explains that because she got married later, “he’s still married to the same person. I love my life. I love my job. I love my kids, but I haven’t changed in the way of I’ve just stopped all of that and given everything up. He’s very happy that I am really solidly content. It’s been 10 years and I’m like, oh my God, it’s just the beginning. I’m not saying you can’t accommodate, but you cannot change for a guy.”

“Truthfully, I did not want kids early on in life. I wanted to travel. I wanted to live. I wanted to really have different experiences. I wanted to live in New York…I thought, and then Europe. I had gotten the advice to pick a lane and I think it’s important for women, even if it’s in their twenties, that they need to go for whatever it is they want. Thirties, forties, fifties, pick a lane, whatever it is that lane.”

[Molly & Emese] On Thriving In Your Forties

“I love my forties,” explains Emese. “I actually feel like I’ve come into myself in my forties. My thirties were when I was figuring out my career. I met my husband. I had my babies. I still had a baby in my forties, but I really feel like I’m so much more confident and secure in who I am as a woman and in my career and who I want to be, what I want to accomplish.”

[Molly] On Setting Expectations

“In the beginning when Stuber and I started dating I set up boundaries. And the boundaries that I set up from the very beginning are the same boundaries that I have 10 years later. Those boundaries are different with every other girl. I like someone to check in with me at the end of the night. I like with someone not to go two or three days without checking in. And I remember he goes, ‘but I’ve never called anybody every day,’ but that’s what made me secure and confident and flourish and not worry. That’s what I needed. And for those of you who are listening, what over those things are, and they’re different to every single person listening to this podcast right now. Own them. Don’t be afraid. I think it’s important to hold your own.”

[Molly] Unrealistic Expectations for Getting Married in Your Twenties 

“I think there are unrealistic expectations for people to get married in their twenties. You graduate from college, you have a couple of years off or you get married right out of school, and I think that’s an unrealistic expectation to put on a girl.” On the other hand, “my brother been with his wife since high school. I think it’s hard when you’re comparing yourself when everyone’s going to bachelorettes, bridal showers and weddings. I think sometimes you have these girls being like, wait, what’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I met someone? And more importantly, they take it a step further and think, okay, I’ll just marry him because everyone else is getting married and not. I can tell you guys listening. I know we sound like moms up here, but don’t do it. Just don’t do it.

“Your time will come. You’ll find your prince. You’ll find your moment and it might be in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties.”

Listen here for the full episode:

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