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Lipstick On The Rim: Million Dollar Matchmaker Patti Stanger Gives 5 Tips to Date Like a Pro


Do you struggle with dating? Do you want to improve your dating game? For this week’s episode, Patti Stanger gets real about modern dating. Patti is a certified matchmaker with 20+ years of experience helping people find love. She shares the non-negotiables you need to set for a successful relationship, how to avoid the “anti-guy” and what you need to do to get your partner to put a ring on it.  PSA she does not hold back and gives the bold and honest truth…even if you don’t want to hear it.

The “Anti-Guy”

Patti explains, “everybody needs one bad boy, but you don’t marry your bad boy. I call them the Anti-Guy. I actually fell in love with my anti-guy. It turned out to be my brother-in-law’s best friend, the surfer dude. You know, really good-looking blonde hair, you know, fell out of the pages of Banana Republic or J Crew. I was like, I’m not going to fall in love with him. I’m just going to screw him, and sure enough, I fell in love with him. You don’t fall in love with your anti-guy. That’s the worst thing. We had such a great friendship and we had such a great ride, but I look back and I think it didn’t serve me.”

Where to Meet Men in 2021

“Okay, well now we’re in a pandemic, so we have to take that into account,” says Patti. “Normally, you would go to places where men go. Where there’s meat, there’s men…steak houses. You go to play golf. You want to do things that men do. Even if you don’t know how to do it like skiing is a very high-end ticketed item. Really good men go skiing, it’s very expensive. My mother used to say, you have to have a dating account for travel, clothes and for doing things that are interesting. You take a percentage of your income, just like you would do for your 401k and add it to your dating account.” Patti mentions how everything has changed since the pandemic. “Men’s Health magazine has great things that you can find that you can do now we’re in a pandemic. Everybody’s going online. They’re using matchmakers more than ever. That’s a great way to meet someone.”

Dating Advice Your Late 30’s

Patti describes how we make dating more complicated with our wish lists. “Now science has told us it’s two things you like to do together, which means you could learn something together. We always wanted to learn how to fly fish or whatever, and we do it together. The other thing is, laughter, do you have two things you like to do together? It doesn’t have to be ‘I laugh all the time he’s a standup comedian’, but do you get his inside jokes?” Patti LOVES divorced men & more importantly she loves setting them up with women in their late 30’s. She explains, “the best-kept secret is divorced men. They can commit and they know how to be in a relationship. Divorced men are fantastic as long as you want kids, and they’ll willing to have an extra one.”

Thoughts on Playing Games

“If you don’t call your boss back, what would happen? You’d get fired. Right. So I say to people you can wait a little time, but if you wait until three days later, he’s onto someone else. We live in a social media time where people are like, okay, you didn’t like me onto the next one. Everyone’s getting ghosted, everyone’s getting submarined. It’s where the guy comes up, looks around, and says let’s date, and then they disappear for weeks and weeks and they come back up again. I thought I lost that guy, but he just came back, and then they keep doing this show. The bottom line is people are taking advantage of other people and we’re allowing it. Would you allow this in business and in a job and in a career? If you were doing a business deal, would you allow your business partner to abuse you like that? No, you’d disperse the company and you’d walk away. Same thing.”

On How Long is Too Long

Patti says, “you don’t go past a year. Even if you’re in your twenties, you don’t. Men are like dogs, if you keep feeding them, they won’t know when to stop. They don’t know what’s the good wagyu beef from the crappy Chuck roast, they will just keep eating and eating and eating. Like Pavlov’s dogs, you have to train them. Their Corpus Callosum is not as big as ours. That’s science. They don’t think feelings.”

How to Get A Man to Commit

“You basically sit down in the sober light of day. You don’t have cocktails because you don’t want them to get cloudy with alcohol. You sit down and you go to the juice bar. And you say to him, look, what’s your plan? You don’t fill in the blanks. You let him answer. So the awkward pause, let it go. And then he has to come up with the plan.”

Creating Your 5 Non-Negotiables 

“So we have this thing called the 5 Non- Negotiables. It is five things I need. So if I want to get married, he wants to get married. If you want to children. He must want children. Are you of the same religion? Do you want to live in the same place? You cannot budge on those fundamental, basic life choices.”

What Patti Eats in A Day

“I do intermittent fasting until about 12, but sometimes I’m doing more than 16 hours, and I can do up to 20. I’m usually good until about three or four o’clock then I eat a meal. I’m all about protein. I won’t do Keto because I get sick on Keto. I get terrible headaches on it. I’ll have some eggs and I’ll eat some Birch Benders Paleo Waffles. They’re my favorite. I’ll put avocado on it. I might have some eggs with that. And then I might have a protein shake.”

Patti’s Skincare Must-Have

“I love Dr. Hauschka Day Cream, which is amazing to put under your makeup. It makes your skin smooth as silk. I was blown away. I’ve never seen anything like this before. One of my makeup artist friends turned me on because it was getting dryer from the weather, especially in the summer with all the fires. She was like, you have to try this and it blew my mind.”

Listen here for the full episode:

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