Let's Talk About... Motherhood
And, we’re back! Today, I’m answering your questions on everything motherhood. So many good ones!
No one ever said being a momma was easy. It’s tough work. Every question you’ve had, I have also. We are in this together!
1. What do you do when you and your husband disagree on how many kids to have?
If my husband had it his way he’d want another one! But, not going to happen. I’d probably go insane. Ha! My advice would be to have an open and honest talk about it. Consider one another’s concerns with growing the family or staying as is. It’s definitely not an easy subject to discuss but understanding from his perspective will help and vice versa.
2. I’m freaking out about being a first time Mom at 42. Not so much all the medical concerns but more just worried “am I too old?!” How do I not compare myself to 25yr old moms and feel like a grandma? Any advice?!
Oh, yes. Been there, done that! The answer is no, you’re not too old. I’ve had the same insecurities but you know what? It all happens for a reason. I wouldn’t take back having my career and spending my 20’s and 30’s on my own schedule. It’s given me a whole new perspective on motherhood and I’m able to give myself completely. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having kids young but I’m positive that I made the right choice for me. Plus, I didn’t meet my husband until I was older and he’s the perfect partner! Everything works out for a reason. As far as not comparing yourself to younger moms, just know that you have a lot more in common as moms than you think. Dirty diapers and those no-sleep nights are a definite equalizer!
3.How is it going from 2 kids to 3 kids? I’m thinking about it!
I’m not going to lie to you—it’s a total game changer but it can be done. The biggest struggle is that there’s no longer man-to-man defense. My husband, Scott and I used to rely on that especially when we were out and about. Now, I have one kid in a carrier, Scott has Brooks, and Scarlett is holding my hand. It’s a lot more to deal with…and a lot more sh*t to lug around. You’ll be surprised how much your older kids rise to the occasion, though. If you give them responsibilities like holding their own bag or helping feed the baby, they love the feeling of accomplishment. We are all a team. Tribe of 5, Team Stuber. We got this!
4. What are some inspiring classes and activities for toddlers?
We love art and music classes at our house. The kids have so much fun! I’ve been taking the kids since they’ve been super little. Most cities offer them for toddlers but it’s always fun to get a group of moms with similar age kids together and start your own. These activities are specifically great for toddlers because art and music help promote creativity, imagination, and motor skill development.
If we are just at home, I like to do sensory activities with the kids. Click here for some of Brooks and Scarlett’s favorites!
5. How do you divide your attention between your kids? My two-year-old is used to being the center of attention but I still want to bond with baby, too!
This is tough. Every momma has worried about this, including me. If you can find some time away to take your two-year-old out for ice cream or any solo activity for some quality time, take advantage of it. I’d say this goes for siblings of all ages. In my experience, it also helps if the older sibling feels involved. Especially if they are helps transitioning from the baby of the family to the older brother and sister. And, that's important for them! When I would bathe Scarlett, I would ask Brooks to go grab a towel. Or if I was changing her and she started fussing, I would ask him to sing her a little song. Even if you think they won't, they love that independence and will surprise you!
6. What are your suggestions for baby meals? And lunches for toddlers?
This may sound crazy—but I actually like making my own baby food! It’s easy and way more cost efficient. I also like knowing what’s in the food. I’ll make a bunch on a Sunday and have it for the week. I use the Beaba Babycook blender or just my regular Vitamix. This cookbook by Annabel Karmel is my go-to for everything baby puree. If you want a healthy homemade option without the prep, a brand called Yumi is great. They deliver it fresh right to your door. I’ve been using them weekly for Grey. He loves it! For toddlers, I’m all about preparing family-friendly meals that we all can eat.
7. What are your best potty training tips for boys?
A glass of chardonnay to keep your sanity. Just kidding! But, no seriously. Brooks was way harder to potty train than Scarlett. I think it’s important to wait until they are ready. Definitely don’t force it or shame them for any accidents they may have. Also, pay attention to when the time is right. I waited until I knew our schedule wasn’t too crazy because I didn’t want to start when I know we’d be traveling. I’ve also made a “potty chart” with each of my kids. If they make it to the potty or tell me they need to go, they get a star. And a treat at the end of the week. I hate to say it but bribing helps in potty training! And cool superhero underwear, too! The second I showed Brooks he could be wearing Batman instead of pull-ups, that’s all the motivation he needed.
8. My little one is 8 weeks and sleeping for 6 hours. Then wakes up and I feed him. Then sleeps for another 3 hours. Any suggestions on how to get him to sleep through the night?
I always say that babies that eat well, sleep well. But, don’t worry—it’s totally normal for a newborn to not sleep through the night. I didn’t ditch my “dream feeds” or middle of the night feeds until 6 months. As hard as it is! But, they’ll get more sleep in after that. It also helps to have a nighttime routine to prepare them for sleep whether it’s soothing music, a sound machine, or a comfortable bath. Also, Jill Spivack’s book, The Sleepeasy Solution was my lifesaver!